“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”Oscar Wilde

Once again, we find ourselves in the season of giving and getting. What will I give? What will I get? We all know the saying, “it is better to give than to receive.” The only problem is that sometimes what someone is “giving” is not something that you are necessarily “wanting.”

What do you do when someone gives you something undesirable? Have you ever been blind-sided by someone’s bad attitude, hurtful look, or snide comments? Have you ever felted pushed, or shoved into something? How do you deal with these kinds of gifts? Do you ignore them? Do you push back?

I have been reading a book entitled, “QBQ! The Question Behind The Question” by John G. Miller. I have found it to be a great read! He proposes that often when people are confronted by new situations (aka change) that their first reaction is to ask “incorrect questions,” questions like “Why?” “Who?” or “When?” He is quick to point out that these kinds of questions often lead to complaining, blaming, and procrastination. He suggests that a person learn to make better choices by recognizing and asking better questions. There are three guidelines that he offers: 1. Begin with “What” or “How” (not “Why,” “When” or “Who”); 2. Your question should contain an “I” (not “they,” “them,” “we” or “you”); and 3. Focus on action. So the questions, “What can I do?” or “How can I adapt to this situation to make it work?” are examples that follows the guidelines perfectly.

Sometimes when what one receives from others is grief or trouble, it is hard to believe the promise given in Romans 8:28. The main problem is that often many view the Christian life as a life free from all adversity. However, a better understanding would be that a Christian is delivered in the midst of adversity, which is something very different. Psalms 91: 9-10 (NLT) states, If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home.” It does not say that you will not experience evil. On the contrary, if you are breathing, you will certainly encounter troubles, but Jesus says you should not be surprised when they come. He says, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world” (John 16:33b) (NLT). Jesus is the one who has overcome and he is saying, “There is nothing for you (or I) to fear.” I like the way Oswald Chambers puts it, “God does not give us overcoming life—He gives us life as we overcome.” It is through the strain of life that a person is able to build his/her strength. If there is no strain, there will be no strength. You might say that if you never used your muscles they would most certainly atrophy. Using your muscles tones and firms them, and as a result, you are stronger.

So what are you asking for this year? Are you asking God to give you life, liberty, and joy? He cannot, unless you are willing to accept the strain. Once you face the strain, He will sustain you with strength (Philippians 4:13). Overcome your own fear and take the first step. Then God will give you nourishment—“To everyone who is victorious I will give fruit from the tree of life in the paradise of God” (NLT). God never gives us strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the moment. Part of learning to seek Him means learning to avoid the “incorrect questions” and learning to ask better ones. Trust Him and He will provide all that you need in your moment of struggle.

Thanks for reading.