“Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.” Voltaire

How was mid-winter break for you? I hope you were able to take time to rest, relax, and have some fun. I spent most of the break in a cold medicine induced stupor. It was one of those times in my life where I felt as though I was just watching as things happened around me wondering if they were real. Have you ever been there? Watching? Not much fun, I like being in the story rather than just watching. A person who is sick spends part of their time in a somewhat coherent state, and the rest of it hoping that they don’t do, or say something that will haunt them for weeks, or years to come. I seem to pray, and think more when I am sick, but the problem is I don’t remember much about those prayers or thoughts.

I’m the kind of person that likes being busy. I feel good most of the time and I really like making mental checkmarks on my mental clipboard of different tasks I have accomplished or completed. I also like helping others. I seem to always find a way of getting involved and helping even with activities that have nothing to do with my goals, dreams, or desires. I think that my tendency towards staying active was something that was instilled in me by my parents. When I was growing up my brother and I were assigned chores by our parents. Not too unusual. These “chores” often included: taking out the garbage; cleaning-up the dog mess in the back yard; mowing the lawn, pulling weeds, cleaning the basement or garage, etc. As my brother and I got older the list got a little longer and naturally more difficult. I’ll never forget one learning lesson of scraping the siding of our house to prepare for paint. Our house had what looked like wood siding, but if sanded it enough you soon found out that it was more like compressed paper. Well needless to say, I sanded a bit too far in one or two locations creating a couple of very low spots and some divots in the boards. Everyone who got close to the front of our house could see my handiwork – oops.

I don’t hold any animosity or grudge towards my parents for assigning me jobs around the house. In fact, I am truly thankful that they instilled in me the importance of work and the joy that comes from working hard. Chores have great value and teach some very important life lessons. When a child is given a chore they are given a sense of importance in the family. They are being trusted to complete a task that is needed. When a child is given a chore, they are given the opportunity to gain a sense of accomplishment through struggle. Likewise, the use of chores can condition children to believe that their parents are the loving authority figures of the home (providing clear boundaries, demonstrating levels of trust, providing inspiration in giving the “can do” message). Chores can also be used as effective consequences for time invested in working with a problem that the child has created. A statement that I like to use with my kids that I learned from the folks at the Love and Logic Institute goes something like this: “I had to spend a lot of time worrying about your behavior, and trying to figure out what to do. When I do this, it drains my energy and I can’t do my own work around here, but if you do the work I missed, it will all even out. Here are the jobs you need to do. Thank you.” Don’t worry if you think you might have given a chore that may be too difficult, work with your child on the task (teamwork and confidence building). Resist the temptation to just do it yourself, but look for ways to encourage their participation and thinking. If you are doing all of the thinking, then you are working too hard!

I hope you have a blessed week!

Mr. Madsen

“Praise be to God...who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we may comfort those in any trouble..." 2 Cor. 1:3-4a

This time of year can really be busy, and it seems that I am always trying to add one more event to my schedule. I am a forgetful person; I say to myself, “How hard can it be? It will be easy to do.” There are times when I get to the place where it feels like if I add one more thing that I will pop. How about you? Have you ever felt this way? The sad thing is that every time I add something new to my schedule I have less time for something else. And, it is one thing for me to add to my schedule and it is another for someone else to add to it. Sometimes things get added which really are not ours to deal with. Do you know what I am talking about?

Some of you know that every year in the fall, I facilitate a course entitled, “Becoming a Love and Logic Parent.” I’ve found some great insight and results in practicing the “Love and Logic” approach of discipline. One of those insights is the shift in my thinking about my children’s problems. It used to be really easy for me to make my kid’s problems mine. This really does not work and can be a disservice to my kids’ learning how to solve problems, and ends up just frustrating me (and them). Charles Fay, one of the spokespersons for the Love and Logic Institute, wrote a short article that I want to share with you here this week: “‘Staying Calm When Your Kids Aren’t’

I once heard that the mark of a great leader is the ability to stay calm when others aren’t. Since great parents and teachers are really the same as great leaders, it makes sense that this would apply to our daily lives with kids. But...how do we do it?

People who meet this challenge think much differently than those who don’t. When the going gets tough, those who lose their cool are led astray by thoughts such as:

My kids should never misbehave.

This is horrible for me.

I’m a lousy parent (or teacher)!

I can’t help but get mad about this!

People who keep their cool are comforted by much different thoughts: They’re sure going to learn a lot from this mistake!

This is pretty sad for them.

Now I get to use my new skills!

It’s okay for me to be happy even when my kids aren’t.

The great news is that each of us has the power to choose how we think!”

I hope this is helpful to you this week! Thanks for reading and God bless!

"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit;" John 15:5a (NKJV)

Lately, I have found myself reading and thinking about the Gospel of John 15:1-17. The passage describes the relationship between a gardener (God), the vine (Jesus), and the branches (the followers of Jesus). Each has a specific task to accomplish. The gardener cares for the vine and the branches by providing the best in all that is needed for the branches to be fruitful. The vine supplies the nutrients and the very essence of life to the branches, again in order to benefit the branches fruitfulness. The branch is to be fruitful, and all the branch has to do is “remain” in the vine in order to accomplish its’ task. As long as the branch “remains,” fruitfulness is a guarantee.

According to this passage there appears to only be two kinds of branches, those that bear fruit and those who do not. It also indicates the plight of those that do not bear fruit—they are drastically pruned back and destroyed.

So, why would a person choose to be barren? It does not make sense that a person would willingly choose to be barren. I suppose that is it possible that a person could feel that it is a mistake to trust the gardener. If a person felt that the gardener was not truly a caring, loving, giving, gardener than they would try to find someone or something to provide what they need. When a gardener prunes a branch he does so with the best in mind for the branch. The idea of being cut and pruned does not sound pleasant or helpful in the short term, but it is the only way to ensure a healthy branch. A careful reading of John 15, yields an understanding that it is the one who “remains” that is fruitful, and that the one who lives apart from the vine (15:5b), is the one who can do nothing. We should battle through our moods, feelings, and emotions into absolute devotion to the Lord Jesus. It is only when we break out of our own little world of experience into abandoned devotion to Him that we understand His true character and His desires for each of us. Only by investing in a quality relationship with Him will we come to understand what it means to be fruitful.

One of the unique and wonderful things about Fairview is that everyday our staff and faculty invest in students and families. Everyday we pray that the gardener would do exactly what needs to be done in order to have a fruitful harvest. Keep your life so constantly in touch with God that His surprising power can break through at any point. Live in a constant state of expectancy, and leave room for God to come in as He decides.

Thanks for reading.